Last week, I switched 3 buses to visit a historic house turned museum in Elizabeth Bay. The trip took me 5 hours, to and from. It was a 30 degree day. I was wearing a cashmere cardigan, which I would repeatedly shuffle on, rip off, throw over my shoulder, and so on. My little epsom bag was frustratingly stiff; measuring barely 20cm wide, with card holders and keys smacking against each other with every step. Clack Clack. Clok Clok. My phone died 30 minutes later.

When I recount this objectively, it seems that my 50 minutes of awe at the site is measly compared to the inconvenience I suffered from such an experience. Despite this, why is it that my thoughts of that day only drift towards the beautiful view of the coast? A small crevice of a window was left open on the top floor; I bent down to peek out, and the ocean wind blew across my face. Boats were drifting across the waves. The sun was shining. The grass was green and the flowers were blooming. I thought to myself at that moment that life can be so simple and so beautiful. Why is that? What was so special in the grass and flowers and sky and wind, that we see every day and think nothing of?

Humans have an innate sense of appreciation for beauty, and as Lord Henry Wotton would say, beauty is one of the great truths in the world. It is somehow normalised now to disregard the appreciation of this as a forgotten and unrelatable experience of the Romantics, shallow and pretentious. I beg to differ; there is indeed something special in beauty.

I’ll tell you what it is at the end. But for now, here is my guide on finding it yourself.

1. Look out the window more. Tuck away your phone.

I am always shocked by the number of people who never stare out the window of buses. As we were driving over the harbour bridge, a small girl with her family suddenly jumped out of her seat and gasped. They were carrying heavy luggage. She pointed at a mammoth cruise ship and smiled excitedly. Her mother looked embarrassed and quickly whispered for her to get down. Other passengers, for a short while, looked up before returning to their feeds. The bus ride was over 40 minutes long. For them, probably 15 minutes. What has changed that has made us ashamed to show our awe?

We sacrifice time for money. We sacrifice money for material possessions. Generally, everything we sacrifice can come back to us. We can earn more money. We can buy more things. We can have more experiences. But we cannot have more time. It is our only truly limited currency.

In the pursuit of convenience and ease, what are you sacrificing your time for? Have you had the opportunity to visit a family member, and skipped out because it is simply easier to stay at home? How many things have you wanted to do yet forgotten after a couple scrolls of the thumb?

We are slowly conditioning ourselves to live each day as if those days were not numbered. We are detaching ourselves from our lives, and living for quick-fixes and dopamine rushes and screen time limits and not the slowness and calm in-between.

     

2. Visit more places. See more things. Look for the stories in what you see.

Let me tell you how you can buy more time for the cost of 0 dollars. Visit a beautiful place. Stare at the fields and the sunset that paints soft oranges on the clouds. See how it fades slowly but surely into nightfall. See the stars, tiny and glimmering and so far away. Go to a park. The grass is green and soft and prickly against your skin. Someone had loved here once. Someone had cared for these flowers beside you once. Feel the sweeping oak staircases of a historic building, and the heavy curtains that drape to cover an adorned window. Someone designed this once; someone put their heart and soul into this display of beauty.

Beauty tells a story. Look for that story, and you will feel a sense of amazement and nostalgia for such imaginary events you had never even experienced. When you do, allow yourself to feel that childlike awe of the world. People never run out of a sense of wonder; inside us all, it is there, waiting to be let out. People just stop looking for it.

3. Live intentionally. Spend longer appreciating short-term moments.

There are flowers that bloom in little segments of my garden during spring. Before I leave in the mornings, I bend down to stare at them. I count the petals and differing colours. Each one curves differently. Some are beginning to decay. Some have not yet bloomed. The garden is just the sum of all its parts: its roses, dandelions, leaves. Greens, whites, pale pinks, reds. My life, too, is just the sum of my days, and my days are just the choices I make. What a gift it is to see colour, and to have the capacity to live intentionally.

What a gift it is that I have the capacity of giving myself, to spend a little longer, to be a little bit more inconvenienced, to see a little more beauty, and to be a little more fulfilled.

4. Grief can be a beautiful thing if you let it be. Life can be beautiful if you let it be.

I realised all of this when my grandpa died; his face was calm. Losing colour, slowly, but surely. I saw not the lifeless body, but the memories that etched its existence. I saw the long drives as the sun set across my 11 year old face. I smelt his watercolour, and how its strokes brought life to the canvas.

I saw the beauty in loss. I saw love.

I wish I had spent longer in those moments. I wish I had appreciated the beauty of his existence a bit more intentionally.

5. All the love we can try to see.

The secret to a fulfilling life is this: where there is life, there is beauty, and where there is beauty, there is love. Beauty not as in a small face or clear skin. But beauty as in smile lines, flowers, quiet bus rides, the sky, wrinkles, cat scratches, splattered ink. Beauty, as in the love it is a testament to.

Be grateful for all the beauty you can see, smell, and feel. Make a hassle for yourself. Do difficult things. Spend time with those you love, even if it tires you out. Take the time to make a home cooked meal, even if takeout is quicker. Give your pet a bath, even if they scratch you in the process. Switch buses 3 times. Read your kids a bedtime story before they grow too big for it. It is never a waste of time to inconvenience yourself a bit. It is a blessing to feel such things. Live like your days are numbered, because they are.

You will find the beauty in it. You will start to find love everywhere you go.